Jokes

   A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters.
   People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

   After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

****************

   Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

   "I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot!"

****************

       

****************

Things to ponder

Living on Earth is very expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

****************

Accident Reports
People who experienced automobile accidents were asked

to explain what happened in a few words on insurance or accident forms.

The following quotes were taken from these forms...

a.. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
b.. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
c.. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
d.. A truck backed through my windshield into my face.
e.. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
f.. The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
g.. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
h.. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
i.. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
j.. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
k.. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
l.. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
m.. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.
n.. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.
o.. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
p.. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
q.. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
r.. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front.

Words of Wisdom & Quotes

A Butterfly

A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God`s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If God allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, we could never fly.